Life Experiences Story

One and Done

Almost all the couples who decide to have a single child face with multitude of questions, suggestions and a number of peoples’ glaring. The most taunting question is “When are you planning second child? Or why are you not planning second one? Or your kid wants a sibling and some even say you are so selfish by not providing him/her siblings. The relatives are so restless to hear such news. It surprises me to think the kind of happiness it provides them to poke their nose in others life. Most of the parents who don’t go for a second child must have gone through some kind of social criticism, stress, self dilemma and sense of guilt for not able to provide sibling to their first child. Planning for a second child is very personal decision of a couple and no one has the right to enforce it because it is the parents who has to bear complete responsibility in all the aspects be it financial, emotional, physical. They should not go for second if they are not well prepared as times are changing and it has become quite expensive to bear the cost of two kids.

It’s usually said a single child is lonely but this stereotype is changing and it depends on how you raise a child. It doesn’t matter whether he/she is single or two. I don’t find anything wrong in any of the decisions. Everything has got two sides: positive as well as negative. It will be unjustified to uphold the one and demean the other.

 Single child gets undivided attention of the parents and there are no financial constraints in raising the child but that doesn’t mean that you pressurise and make him/her over conscious.

Now a days as considerable number of urban population are marrying in their early thirties and giving birth to their first kids in their late 30s and then planning a second child is not easy. Physical burden of nurturing a second child sometimes takes a toll over the health of the mother and one of the reasons for certain ailments is late pregnancy. 

It’s not necessary that single child will compulsorily be lonely and a spoilt brat .You can ward off the loneliness of the single child by enhancing his/her social circle , devoting your precious time in listening and talking to him/her, keeping one engaged in varied indoor or outdoor activities . Disciplining your child becomes easier by imbibing in him the culture of sharing and selflessness, avoiding over pampering, teaching the importance of friends and cousins.

It’s always fun to have siblings as one has got company to play with and  share but it’s a stark reality that on growing up the siblings become independent, may move to different places to earn money or even different countries and end up meeting once in a year or twice or in any specific occasion. Then you are left with your close friends, parents or cousins. Does it really matter if you have single or two? Always make an effort to develop a strong bonding of the kid not only with parents but with his friends and cousins. Plan a trip or holidays every year to meet your close relatives so that the kid can get opportunity to understand and develope a good rapport with them.

Not to make this discussion too long, conclusively

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